Something I’ve been wanting to do for the longest time: Go on vacation.

And I’m finally going to do it! 😀 This weekend I’m going to stay at the Marriott Resort in Palm Springs with my family as a last get together before my brother goes to the Navy. Yes, the navy. I guess it still hasn’t hit me yet that he’s going to be gone, but once the day comes (Tuesday August 5, the day before his birthday) I’ll realize it …

Summer’s going by way faster than I expected. There’s about one month left before school starts, and I am DEFINITELY not prepared for it. I am so scared about this upcoming year. You have no idea. I don’t know how it’s gonna come out and what’s going to happen and if I’ll be able to handle it or not. I really need strength and discipline this year.

I’ve discovered a couple of things about myself these past couple of weeks. Actually I think I already knew about them, but I guess I was just in denial.

1. I’m a huge procrastinator.
I don’t understand why I do the things I do. I just continuously put things off until the last possible moment until I have no choice but to face my problems. By then it’s 2:00 in the morning and I’m dead tired, so I do a perfunctory job and end up performing half as well as I could. I’ll admit that I can put so much more effort into my work, but I choose not to. I’m seriously dumb. I’m the laziest person of anyone I know. Why do I do that? I put play before work even though deep inside it’s only temporary happiness. I’ll eventually get super stressed out and overwhelmed, and yet I find myself doing it over and over again. It doesn’t make any sense.

2. I complain a lot.
At the time I usually don’t realize it, but I’ve had people tell me that I complain a lot. I deny it at first, but later I realize how annoying I must sound. I’m sorry to the people who have had to endure my nagging complaints! I really am a whiny person. Gah, I must stop my annoying habit! I guess it’s just my way of expressing my feelings, but I know it can get irritating. I’m sorry!!

3. I’m indecisive.
I’m sure pretty much everyone knows this about me, but yes, I have trouble making decisions. I find myself conforming to other people’s opinions rather than developing my own and having my own point of view. I’m easily influenced by what other people think and have a propensity to allow that affect what I think. Sometimes I just think it’s hard to develop my own ideas about things because I usually feel neutral about something until someone tells me their opinion, and then I tend to lean towards their thinking too. But I’ve noticed this for a while and lately I’ve been trying to actually tell people what I think and give people my honest opinion. I still struggle with it, but I’m improving!

Wow, this totally sounded like an “I hate myself” blog. -_-x