I’ve always had trouble fighting the need to feel accepted by others. I struggle trying to fit in with what other people want and conform to what’s considered “cool”. I have to constantly remind myself that none of it matters. In the long run, nobody is going to care who the most popular person is at school, who has the best clothes, the most innovative technology; it’s all going to disappear. None of it will matter.

And yet I still get sucked into this thought that I need to act and look a certain way to feel accepted by others. And yet I still envy the people who are well-off, can do whatever they want (it seems), can buy whatever they want. I find myself constantly getting angry that I can’t do certain things or have certain things that other people have. I get so frustrated, and then I have to slap myself as a reminder that it doesn’t matter. It’s a constant struggle for me, and I’m still trying to fight it. But it’s definitely hard for me.

I have to remember that I have other things to look forward to. It’s not all about this temporary materialistic world in comparison to what’s really out there. I have better things to look forward to. For eternity.

Lately, I feel like … I’ve been struggling a lot. I don’t know why, but there’s so many things going on that I’m starting to question and doubt. I just feel so lost and confused in this crazy messed up world and I’m feeling more alone than ever. I feel like I’m just barely hanging on.