^Here’s a picture I took! I dragged Beatrice along to do a model session with me. 😀 Kekeke.
I haven’t blogged in the longest time … a little over a month now.
Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about this thing! I’m kind of like Maya – I just didn’t know what to blog about anymore. Because my life is so dang boring. School’s school, nothing to talk about .. except complain of course, and I know how much you guys want to hear me complain.
I’ve been extremely lazy this entire school year, but the other day I had a reality check, like someone hit me over the head and reminded me that I’ll only have this chance once in my lifetime. I don’t want to mess it up and regret it later. Of course, I have many regrets already, but I guess this I’ll try to use what little time I have left to do my best. I’m still struggling, but I’m ready for a change!
Bethanie and I decided that we’re going to try to workout everyday. I’ve gotten so lumpy since the school year started, it’s not even funny. =( Sigh, I almost miss PE where they forced you to exercise and wear those silly PE clothes and run the mile and whatnot. But I’m determined!
This year is going by so quickly! It’s already the end of March, then it’ll be Spring break, then May, June .. then the school year is going to be over. Summer will come and go, and senior year will be here. It’s so close, I can almost taste it. My high school years are flying before my eyes and I feel like I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to do. Childhood is almost ending, and a new beginning is going to come. I’m excited yet nervous. I want to start my life over. I have too many regrets and mistakes to name, and it’ll be like my second chance to set things right.
I hate school. I know everybody says it, and I don’t only hate it because of the schoolwork. I hate it because I feel so … I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s the environment, the people, the feelings of being so alone sometimes it makes me sick. And the feeling that I need to be better than everyone else, even though I know it’s impossible. The feeling that I need to live up to certain expectations in order to be accepted by others. The feeling that I need to go to a specific namebrand college because it’s the “right thing to do”, otherwise it’s as though I’m a failure.
I really feel like I’ve failed. Not only school, but myself. My actions, my mistakes. I really wish I could start my high school years over again. I would do so many things differently.
In the mean time, I’ve found myself become EXTREMELY obsessed with photography. I just love it to death, alskjdf! I can’t even explain my joy at being able to take pictures and edit them and make something simple look artistic. I sound super nerdy, but seriously. I LOVE IT WITH A PASSION! I’m really amateur and horrible, but I’m still learning. I’ve moved on from my dream of getting a Canon G10. I WANT A CANON EOS DIGITAL REBEL XSI NOW. My birthday’s coming up, I know you wanna! 😉 It’s only like $680? Hehehe.