^Here’s a picture I took! I dragged Beatrice along to do a model session with me. 😀 Kekeke.

I haven’t blogged in the longest time … a little over a month now.

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about this thing! I’m kind of like Maya – I just didn’t know what to blog about anymore. Because my life is so dang boring. School’s school, nothing to talk about .. except complain of course, and I know how much you guys want to hear me complain.

I’ve been extremely lazy this entire school year, but the other day I had a reality check, like someone hit me over the head and reminded me that I’ll only have this chance once in my lifetime. I don’t want to mess it up and regret it later. Of course, I have many regrets already, but I guess this I’ll try to use what little time I have left to do my best. I’m still struggling, but I’m ready for a change!

Bethanie and I decided that we’re going to try to workout everyday. I’ve gotten so lumpy since the school year started, it’s not even funny. =( Sigh, I almost miss PE where they forced you to exercise and wear those silly PE clothes and run the mile and whatnot. But I’m determined!

This year is going by so quickly! It’s already the end of March, then it’ll be Spring break, then May, June .. then the school year is going to be over. Summer will come and go, and senior year will be here. It’s so close, I can almost taste it. My high school years are flying before my eyes and I feel like I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to do. Childhood is almost ending, and a new beginning is going to come. I’m excited yet nervous. I want to start my life over. I have too many regrets and mistakes to name, and it’ll be like my second chance to set things right.

I hate school. I know everybody says it, and I don’t only hate it because of the schoolwork. I hate it because I feel so … I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s the environment, the people, the feelings of being so alone sometimes it makes me sick. And the feeling that I need to be better than everyone else, even though I know it’s impossible. The feeling that I need to live up to certain expectations in order to be accepted by others. The feeling that I need to go to a specific namebrand college because it’s the “right thing to do”, otherwise it’s as though I’m a failure.

I really feel like I’ve failed. Not only school, but myself. My actions, my mistakes. I really wish I could start my high school years over again. I would do so many things differently.

In the mean time, I’ve found myself become EXTREMELY obsessed with photography. I just love it to death, alskjdf! I can’t even explain my joy at being able to take pictures and edit them and make something simple look artistic. I sound super nerdy, but seriously. I LOVE IT WITH A PASSION! I’m really amateur and horrible, but I’m still learning. I’ve moved on from my dream of getting a Canon G10. I WANT A CANON EOS DIGITAL REBEL XSI NOW. My birthday’s coming up, I know you wanna! 😉 It’s only like $680? Hehehe.

Check the deviantart or flickr!


4 thoughts on “

  1. FAST FROM XANGA, HUH? LOOOSER.jk jk i broke it too. as you can tell from me commenting here.it’s time for change! i really don’t want to regret anything. time to be determined and focusss.and no more flab. :)p.s. i really want to go to disneyland! but not just us two. because that’s super lame. 🙂

  2. LOLLL!!! only $680 x) ur funny. if i had that kind of money you know i’ll give that to you (: thanks celeste, i know u’ll be there when i need ya. and same goes for you too. talk to me anything ((: i’ve gotten fatter also cuz i can’t do any cardio cuz of my stupid knee >[ I MISS BASKETBALL ❤ sighh… ughh w/e. i wanna be ur model!!! 😀 hahaha. i know how ya feel celeste, u know that. school sucks. life sucks. lol when someone in our class said to mrs moore, why does my life suck? she was like ur life doesn’t suck. it all depends on ur perspective. and then she like totally nailed him. lol she was like u have food on ur table everyday, a roof over ur head and ur 90% ahead from the rest of the world. and i was liek oh snap. lol she’s so right xD but i guess sumtimes i just can’t see it that way. i should though :[ i gotta see what i have and stop complaining. but still life sucks.

  3. i have a solution to all your problems! :]] you should just move to alhambra and then come to my school and then you won’t really feel as much pressure because you’ll probably already be at the top of our school :]] It’s okay i don’t think you should compare yourself to anyone else. you should just do your best! :]

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